How to Manage Emotions

 In the creation of man and woman, God made a choice. He could have made these magnificent creations nothing more than a puppet on a string at the complete control of the Puppet Master. That option was unacceptable to our Creator. Instead, God imbedded within these splendid beings the capacity to think, choose, and feel along with a personal agency to learn, grow, and manage emotions.

As part of humankind, we are responsible to manage our emotions. If not managed effectively, we feel stressed, drained, and overwhelmed, adversely affecting our physical health. Our well-being thrives with good emotional intelligence and coping skills. Our human brain uses more of its capabilities and our awareness heightens. We discover new perspectives, increase our productivity, and even accelerate change.

What are emotions and why do we feel them?

Emotions are information. Think of them as messengers. They’re not “good” or “bad.” They’re neutral. They give us important information. For example, it is normal to feel anger toward injustice. It is right to feel sad at a loss. Feeling scared helps us avoid injury or harm. Experiencing the full range of emotions adds meaning to our lives and helps us to handle challenges. So how, how do we learn to manage our emotions?

Step 1: SEE THEM. What am I feeling?

Practice identifying your emotions by using the attached Feeling Words List. Isolate one of the seven primary emotions at a time. Probe inside to see if you can identify a little or a lot of that emotion. Find words in the continuum to describe how you feel. Some find it helpful to journal them regularly.

Physical responses can also help you identify emotions. Perhaps your face gets hot if angry. Maybe your muscles tense up if anxious. You may perspire along your hairline if you feel insecure.

Step 2: UNDERSTAND THEM. What happened to make me feel this way?

Seek to understand and figure out what happened that got us feeling this way. Our emotions can arise from events, situations, or memories. Knowing what brought about the feeling and why we felt that way makes it easier for us to manage our feelings.

Consider whether situations are as bad as your emotions make them seem. Sometimes, unhelpful thinking patterns may magnify negativity. For example, we may overgeneralize and think, “I have failed once, I will fail again for sure”.

When we have negative thoughts, we can reframe them by focusing on good things. Good mental health was just as important in the first century. The Apostle Paul encouraged, “Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).

Step 3: REGULATE THEM. What do I want to do about these feelings?

Think about the best way to express your emotions or regulate them, so you can feel better. For example, would it feel more helpful to gently confront someone or work off the feeling by spending time in nature?

Consider doing more of the things you enjoy, such as a hobby, spending time with friends, listening to music, reading, or even sleeping. We can also try exercising which has mood-boosting effects and relieves stress.

How do I talk about my emotions?

Talking to others about our emotions can also help us explore new perspectives and understand our thinking patterns. Find someone who is safe and that you trust. For a start, say, “Can we talk for a minute? I have something to share.” Talking about our feelings doesn’t just help us understand ourselves, but also increases our connection with people who matter to us.

With a little practice, you can develop the skill of managing your emotions. Aim for regulation, not repression. Rather than trying to repress or ignore emotions, develop emotional intelligence and regulation skills. See them. Understand them. Regulate them. Building the ability to self-regulate is crucial to good mental health and well-being.